January 13, 2008

Resolved (Day 8)

I can say without a doubt that this has been one of the more roller-coaster weekends I've experienced in a while. It's had its highs, its lows, and its middles.

A great weekend at LifePoint and I'm just so thankful to be a part of the church I'm at. I'm excited about what God is doing. And I'm anxious to see what all transpires as we work through a "Gospel Centered Life" series in our community groups.

It's also a weekend of hurt and pain. One family here in the area has suffered a very unexpected loss. We were fairly close to them as we were in a small group with them for over a year. But hadn't really talked much since we returned to Missouri. And as I sit to write on the next Edwards resolution, it is fitting that the next resolution was:

#10 – Resolved: When I feel pain, to think of the pains of martyrdom and hell.

Have you ever had anyone tell you "Son, you haven't felt pain yet"! Or heard a woman tell the story of birthing her child and looking up at her husband and assuring him he had never felt pain like that.

And do you ever stop yourself and remind that stupid ignorant voice inside your head that things could be a lot worse? I mean seriously. We gripe about the stupidest stuff. I'm standing in line at a funeral home today to pay my respects for the family that experienced the loss and all some stupid woman behind me could worry about was where the line to pay the respects was. I mean she wouldn't shut up. She kept going on and on. You wanted to reach back around and shut her yap for her.

I mean seriously. It was really stinking annoying. And as I sit here tonight, I think "Marc, you're like that all the time with God". There is real pain and suffering in the world and all you can worry about sometimes is where the freaking line is.

Goodness, I'm an idiot. I gripe and complain about the stupidest stuff when there are Christians suffering in jails and being tortured in this world.

I think I have it so freaking bad and I fail to remember that billions of people are headed straight for hell. I'd rather worry about why the freak I didn't get an extra hash brown at McDonalds than ponder and pray for the missionary that was just burned with a blowtorch just for being a Christian.

It's un-fathomable how selfish, short sighted, winey, bratty, idiotic, stupid, and a pathetic complainer I am in my life.

I have been so blessed in life. I've been healthy my whole life. I have a beautiful wife and two precious boys. I have a house that doesn't leak. I have a furnace that works. I have plenty of food in the pantry. Clothes to put on my back. A great church to serve at. Friends to share life with. Eyes to read with. Hands to work with.

But god forbid I wake up tomorrow and I don't know where the line is. The world may come to an end.

God, please forgive me and help me truly see how stupid and sinful I am.


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