September 19, 2007

Is Birth Control / Family Planning Wrong ? (III)

So after establishing that God is good, I now want to focus on what I believe to be the next crucial question you have to answer in this debate and that is:

Do you trust God?

It’s hard to trust someone that you don’t believe is good. We normally don’t trust people who break into our homes, rob us of our possessions, treat us rudely, or harm us in physical or emotional ways. We just don’t trust them. No matter how much we might want to, or how much we want to make ourselves do it, we can’t trust people that we don’t believe have our best interests in mind.

Which is why you have to establish and believe that God is good, otherwise, you won’t trust Him – EVER! But once you believe He is good, and that He has only your best interests in mind, then your next step is trust.

And this is the crucial issue in the birth control / family planning context. I would argue that most people would say “I believe God is good”, but most people would have a hard time saying “I trust God to do what is right when it comes to having many children”. Consider these scenarios:

  1. When you have your first child, you are so excited and can’t believe God has given you this blessing in your life. When you have your second child, you’re still excited, can’t believe God has given you this blessing, but somehow you’re leary of having more. You are growing weary of the sleepless nights. You’re tired all the time. You can’t seem to think straight. There’s more noise in the house with two kids. It’s just hard to imagine going through having a third child.
  2. You’re a young couple who has gotten married while you are in college. You love each other very much. You’re so excited about spending life together. But you don’t want children yet. You feel like there is so much that you want to do and see. You want time to spend with just one another. You’ll have a family eventually, but right now life is just too hectic and too many things going on. You’re just not ready to have children yet.
  3. You’re a family who has had two children already. Dad is working hard at one job and mom has stayed home with the children. You’ve made a commitment to one parent being home with the kids because you really feel like that’s important. And you’ve noticed now that you’ve had your second child, that money is really tight these days. You’re having to put some essentials on the credit card each month because you don’t have enough money left over from each of the paychecks to cover all the bills. You’d love to entertain the thought of having more children, but you know in your mind that there is NO WAY you can afford to have a third child.

In all of these scenarios, people usually take matters into their own hands and either permanently (through surgical means) or persistently (monthly precautions) ensure that more children do not enter the equation and if you boil it right down and get to the heart of the matter, there is only one reason:


Plain and simple, you don’t trust God. God can’t possibly be trusted with your procreation and reproductive systems. God can’t possibly be trusted to supply all your needs in Christ Jesus. God can’t possibly be trusted to bring another child along and then help you provide for that child. God can’t be trusted.

That’s what we are saying MOST OF the time in the birth control / family planning debate. If you boil it down to the heart of the matter, we don’t believe that God can be trusted.

I know that will offend some people, it offends me when I think about how much I don’t trust God with every area of my life. But in many ways, we simply have a trust issue with God.

And there are several reasons for that and we’ll cover those in later posts perhaps, but the question you have to ask is this:

Why don’t I trust God to do what is right in the area of blessing me with children and then helping me provide for them?

If he fed 5,000 people with a few loaves of bread on a hillside, what makes you think he won’t help feed another lovely mouth in your household? Tomorrow, we’ll talk about another controversial aspect of this trust issue. But it’s one I want to write a whole post on. Stay tuned!


John Chesare said...


The choice that Kristin and I made, together, to have her "tubes tied", after Emma was born, was not for selfish reasons. I guess, however, based on your arguments we are selfish and, as you stated..."WE DON’T TRUST GOD TO DO WHAT IS IN OUR BEST INTEREST(S)"!

Decisions such as this are not made on a whim or at the drop of hat. We didn't decide in the middle of her section to go ahead with the surgery. We had 9 long months to make such a life changing decision. We did a lot of soul searching and the fact of the matter is; Kristin is pushing 36 years old and I am pushing 38 and the thought of bringing another life into the world was something that we felt was not in our family's best interest and the fact that we cannot keep having babies on yearly basis. : ) You might feel that those reasons I just stated only support your reasons as to why we do not trust God.

People do have to look and dig for answers on their own. That is why we are who we are; people. I truly feel that God guides us on this journey we call life but I do not believe, in anyway shape or form, that God feels that we do not trust in, or have faith, in Him.

People have had things happen in their past, they have things that are happening now, and they will have things that will happen to them in their future that, undoubtedly, will continue to mold who they are. We are sculpted in His make take more time for some us to be molded in that image.

We are "Beloved Children of God" and if God had the foresight to allow some of His children to develop birth control methods then why would you have such an issue with Family Planning? Do you really believe that God will love you any less because you choose to be responsible in the matters of Family Planning? You, yourself, have stated in past blogs that there are too many orphans in this world. Do you think that a little Family Planning would have been beneficial in these situations?

On a separate note, I do agree, to an extent, with your most recent Anon comment that there does seem to be an excessive amount of negativity from you. That negativity surprised me as I never saw that side of you when you lived nearby. You beat yourself up way too much when it comes to God and I truly believe that God, the God I know (the one that my Father has been with since July 4, 1987), would never make you feel as though you were nothing or that you were not worthy to walk with Him! That would defeat the whole purpose of what God did for us and the ultimate sacrifice He made for us.

I will close by saying this...I am not mad nor was my post meant as a retaliation of any sort. If you get anything out of my comments I hope you understand, from a "lay persons" perspective, that God loves us no matter who we are. I have a beautiful wife and 4 wonderful children to attest to that! I am more blessed than I could ever be in my life! Even though my Father was "taken" away from me at the age of 17, I do not blame God nor harbor and ill will. When I was younger, yes, I was an angry young man...I will not lie about that. But that only goes to prove my statement that things happen to people, through the course of their life, that mold who they are today and who they will become in the future.

Thanks for taking the time to read my comments.

Please send along our Love to your family.


Marc Backes said...


Hope you guys are well...and I'm stunned to say the least...I had no idea you even read the I'm surprised...

In response to your comments, they are obviously thought out and obviously heartfelt. I'm finding that a lot of people feel I'm a negative person :) although I'm not one in "real life"..I guess it must be the opposite of staying at a Holiday Inn or something...

I want to respond to your points of argument a little more in depth, unfortunately I'm heading out right now...Check back to this comment thread over the next couple days and I'll take up your points...

Thanks for commenting...I promise to respond...