Is Birth Control / Family Planning Wrong? (V)

And so we come to the end of the series. I know I haven't ended the debate. I know I didn't start the debate. But I've tried to avoid "fancy" argumentation in favor of just basic "gut level" simple questions to ask yourself when you are considering birth control / family planning?

I ended the last post promising to talk about "exceptions" when birth control might be appropriate. I believe they are few. But I believe they are:

1. The Health Of The Mother – Many women have experienced traumatic pregnancies and faced near death in delivering children. They have been bed-ridden for months of the pregnancy or faced severe hemorrhaging towards the end of the pregnancy. In the same way that I don't believe that God expects us to continually play in traffic and trust him to keep the cars from hitting us, I also don't think it's wise to voluntarily place yourself in a position where you are exacerbating medical problems. I think we need to be careful here that the health of the mother issue is clear and demonstrable. Inventing potential medical problems as a result of pregnancy is speculative and problematic.
   
2. Birth Control As Medical Treatment – Many women also experience medical conditions for which birth control is a prescribed medical treatment. Once again, I think this is a permissible exercise and one that doesn't violate conscience or faith in God. I think for those women who find themselves in situations where having tubes tied, taking monthly birth control, etc would be a medical treatment for an existing health condition, I think they can do so without a second thought.
   

I know folks will argue there are more, and there may be. I'd love to hear and respond with your thoughts in the comments. But as I look at it, there aren't many exceptions.

DISCLAIMER: I have obviously expressed my opinion here. I always have strong opinions. I think everyone should. But I also understand that there are other takes on this subject different than mine. (Desiring God / Tim Challies (Very Well Thought Out)) I disagree with them for various reasons, but respect and value their opinion. This is a tough subject. And one that I believe requires a great amount of prayer, thought, and energy devoted to searching out what the will of God for your life is.

Voddie Baucham obviously had a take on it and it came out very clearly in his book. I have a take on it and it's come out clearly in these series of posts. What I hope this has done is to get you to think about what your belief is on this matter and to not just "passively" act out of ignorant thoughts or passions but to truly get serious about an issue that affects everyone. This is not a trivial subject. This is not "unimportant". How you play this out, reason this out, and act this out says a lot about your belief systems, how you approach Scripture, how you interpret Scripture, and how you view God. Those are matters of monumental importance.

For those who have decided to have tubes tied or vasectomies performed, but you are coming to realize that maybe more children are desired, remember there are over 195,000 orphans in the United States alone and millions worldwide. There should always be room for those children in our lives somewhere. Always! Adoptions, Foster Care, whatever it is, do something and be a blessing to children. They are a blessing to us. I have learned more about Jesus and my relationship with Him through my children than I have in any classroom ever. Kids have a way of doing that for you and I think that's why God says they are blessing in so many places in Scripture.

How do you view children? How do you view God's creation of life? How do you view your role in it? Tough questions! Search out the answers.

Is Birth Control / Family Planning Wrong? (IV)

So far we've looked at the first two critical questions:

• Is God good?
  
• Can God be trusted?
  

And today I believe is the day where I have to be the most careful because the first two questions were focused on God. Today's question is focused on us.

Do we WANT to trust God?

Ultimately, the answer is no. We haven't trusted God since the beginning of creation, why should we start now. You see, if you ask the majority of Christians whether God is good and can He be trusted, the answer you'll get from 99% of them is an unconditional yes. God's not the problem. We are. If you ask those same Christians whether they want to trust God, if they are honest about their heart and mind condition, they would have to tell you no.

We inherently don't want to trust God. It takes faith to trust God. It takes a release of control. It takes making ourselves vulnerable and completely at the mercy of another. We don't want to trust God. We don't do it with our finances. We don't do it with our marriages. We don't do it with our interpersonal relationships. And we most certainly don't do it when it comes to conceiving and birthing children.

How many of you have who have children have said in your lifetime when asked the question of whether you were going to have more kids: "No way – we're done – we made sure of that".

Now I have to ask the question. Was that because God told you that? Did you spend nights and weeks in prayer agonizing over that? Did God reveal that to you clearly? Or did you just decide you didn't like the hassle of having infant children or going through a pregnancy? Did you decide it would cost too much to have more kids? Did you decide that your life goals were more important than having another baby? Who made that decision? You or God?

How many young couples have said "We're waiting to have kids. We want to have some time to ourselves early in our marriage." Once again, was this a revelation from God? Or your selfish desire to decide what was best for you and your new spouse?

The problem is that we make these types of decisions almost by default. We are prone to these sinful types of behaviors. It is how we are wired. Since the fall, our inclination is to not seek God but rather to hide from Him just as Adam and Eve did. We want to decide what's best for us, not let the all powerful Creator get involved in the mix.

And sometimes we think sin is merely encapsulated in the things that we do or obvious sins (at least obvious to us we think) such as drunkenness, pornography, drug addiction, rampant profanities, etc. But I ask you what is more sinful: To have one too many beers at a football game or to tell the God of the universe that he is no longer Creator, you are and you will decide what is right for your family, your future, and your life not Him?

These are questions we have to take seriously. And quite frankly, this is a question that we have punted on in Protestant life. We mock Catholics for their large families and their salvation by works, but yet we ignore our own blasphemous attitudes toward reproduction and child conception. We take the pill and have vasectomies not because of our theology but our comfort and our careers.

Now are there exceptions? Yes and that's what tomorrow's post will talk briefly about. But I believe the exceptions apply to 5% of Christians, not the majority. Is God good? Can he be trusted? Do we want to trust Him? Three important questions! Your answers are very telling about how you view the God you claim to follow.

Is Birth Control / Family Planning Wrong ? (III)

So after establishing that God is good, I now want to focus on what I believe to be the next crucial question you have to answer in this debate and that is:

Do you trust God?

It’s hard to trust someone that you don’t believe is good. We normally don’t trust people who break into our homes, rob us of our possessions, treat us rudely, or harm us in physical or emotional ways. We just don’t trust them. No matter how much we might want to, or how much we want to make ourselves do it, we can’t trust people that we don’t believe have our best interests in mind.

Which is why you have to establish and believe that God is good, otherwise, you won’t trust Him – EVER! But once you believe He is good, and that He has only your best interests in mind, then your next step is trust.

And this is the crucial issue in the birth control / family planning context. I would argue that most people would say “I believe God is good”, but most people would have a hard time saying “I trust God to do what is right when it comes to having many children”. Consider these scenarios:

1. When you have your first child, you are so excited and can’t believe God has given you this blessing in your life. When you have your second child, you’re still excited, can’t believe God has given you this blessing, but somehow you’re leary of having more. You are growing weary of the sleepless nights. You’re tired all the time. You can’t seem to think straight. There’s more noise in the house with two kids. It’s just hard to imagine going through having a third child.
2. You’re a young couple who has gotten married while you are in college. You love each other very much. You’re so excited about spending life together. But you don’t want children yet. You feel like there is so much that you want to do and see. You want time to spend with just one another. You’ll have a family eventually, but right now life is just too hectic and too many things going on. You’re just not ready to have children yet.
3. You’re a family who has had two children already. Dad is working hard at one job and mom has stayed home with the children. You’ve made a commitment to one parent being home with the kids because you really feel like that’s important. And you’ve noticed now that you’ve had your second child, that money is really tight these days. You’re having to put some essentials on the credit card each month because you don’t have enough money left over from each of the paychecks to cover all the bills. You’d love to entertain the thought of having more children, but you know in your mind that there is NO WAY you can afford to have a third child.

In all of these scenarios, people usually take matters into their own hands and either permanently (through surgical means) or persistently (monthly precautions) ensure that more children do not enter the equation and if you boil it right down and get to the heart of the matter, there is only one reason:

YOU DON’T TRUST GOD TO DO WHAT IS IN YOUR BEST INTERESTS!

Plain and simple, you don’t trust God. God can’t possibly be trusted with your procreation and reproductive systems. God can’t possibly be trusted to supply all your needs in Christ Jesus. God can’t possibly be trusted to bring another child along and then help you provide for that child. God can’t be trusted.

That’s what we are saying MOST OF the time in the birth control / family planning debate. If you boil it down to the heart of the matter, we don’t believe that God can be trusted.

I know that will offend some people, it offends me when I think about how much I don’t trust God with every area of my life. But in many ways, we simply have a trust issue with God.

And there are several reasons for that and we’ll cover those in later posts perhaps, but the question you have to ask is this:

Why don’t I trust God to do what is right in the area of blessing me with children and then helping me provide for them?

If he fed 5,000 people with a few loaves of bread on a hillside, what makes you think he won’t help feed another lovely mouth in your household? Tomorrow, we’ll talk about another controversial aspect of this trust issue. But it’s one I want to write a whole post on. Stay tuned!

Is Birth Control / Family Planning Wrong? (II)

Is God good? I mean truly, do you believe that God is good?

"Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, for His steadfast love endures forever" – Psalm 136:1

I know it seems like an odd first question to answer in a birth control exploration, but it is the most profound question you must answer in this whole touchy subject. Do you believe that God, Jehovah, Lord, Father is GOOD?

Because how you answer that question will not only impact your views on birth control and family planning, but it will impact your views on the entire Bible and will color all of your theology. If you view God as inherently good and true, then you believe that ultimately, as a follower of Jesus, that God will do nothing "eternally" bad to you. You can read verses like Romans 8:28 and know that while we will suffer in this lifetime, and experience hardships and sorrow, that ultimately God is doing all of it as a kind, loving Father who is guiding and caring for His children in a wise, divine way that we may not always understand.

But you never question God's goodness. Therefore, you have no reason to question whatever may happen in your life. You have no reason to secretly question life's circumstances and wonder "Does God know what He is doing here?" You have no reason to keep looking over your shoulder and wondering if God is really on your side. You just know that He is good and you don't question it. You bank on His goodness. You love His goodness. You trust in His goodness.

How does this fit into the topic at hand?

If God is inherently good, and you are a follower of Jesus, and you believe everything I just wrote, and what the Bible says about God being good (do a word search here with the words "God" and "Good" and see what you come back with) then you WILL NEVER look at a pregnancy and question whether God knows what He is doing. Or whether a pregnancy is a good thing. Nor will you have to worry about getting pregnant and having another child because you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is good and He will always be good and if you conceive, then it HAS to be, a good thing. It can't not be. Why? Because God is good. And he is sovereign. And if he only does good things for His children, then how could you look at a pregnancy as a bad thing? You also will have no reason to prevent a pregnancy, because if you do conceive, by the Bible's words alone, it has to be a good thing.

Might the pregnancy bring challenges? Sure. Might it be an "inconvenience"? Probably! Will it be hard? Absolutely! No one ever said having children was a cake walk. Might it cost you your "career"? Potentially. But what is more important? Your career or children?

IMPORTANT NOTE: I WILL ADDRESS THE HEALTH AND WELL BEING OF THE MOTHER QUESTION LATER THIS WEEK!

Whatever questions you may have, you cannot argue that God is not good, and therefore does not have your best interests fully in view. If you argue that, then you might possibly not know God the way you ought to.

We will look at several other questions/angles over the next few days, but today's question I believe is the most important one to answer. Is God good? You need to answer that in your life, not just for family purposes, but for soul purposes.

Is Birth Control / Family Planning Wrong?

That's a big question Voddie Baucham brings to the table in the first chapter of his new book – "Family Driven Faith".

After Bridget became pregnant with our son, the pressure was on. Countless well-meaning people were whispering in Bridget's ear. Some warned, "Girl, you'd better not get stuck with a bunch of kids." Others tried to be more diplomatic and simply pointed out how much the cost of college tuition had risen, or the price of groceries. Unfortunately, the voices in our ear trumped the voice of God. When Trey was born, we hired a doctor to speak to God on our behalf. He took his scalpel and sutures and told God, "The Bauchams hereby declare that they no longer trust, nor welcome you in this area of their lives."

Several years later my wife knelt before me with tears in her eyes and asked me two things. First, she asked if I would forgive her for closing her womb. Second, she asked me if it would be alright if we had the procedure reversed. I was floored. I couldn't hold back the tears as I told her how wrong I was to sit back and let it happen and how happy I would be to make it right.

We went to a specialist the next week. Unfortunately, we discovered that what the doctors had done could not be reversed. I wanted to crawl under a rock. I wanted to go back in time and grab my twenty-three year old self by the collar and say, "Don't you dare let this happen!" It was at that moment that we decided to extend our family through adoption." – Family Driven Faith pg. 25

Those are tough paragraphs to read. Very thought provoking and challenging as well! Is God the creator of life or are we? Does God determine what is best for us or do we?

This is an issue in almost every Christian marriage and almost every Christian home in America. Yet I have never heard a sermon on it. Not one. So the question begs to be asked, if this is an issue almost everyone faces, why are we not talking about it as a church?

• Should Christian women take the birth control pill? Only in certain circumstances? What would those circumstances be?
  
• Should Christian women have their tubes tied? Only in certain circumstances? What would those circumstances be?
  
• Should Christian men have vasectomies? Only in certain circumstances? What would those circumstances be?

What are the Biblical parameters surrounding this issue? What is your "theology" of life creation so to speak? How do you view children? How do you view conception? The paragraphs above certainly will force you to think about it. And that is the issue we'll explore on the blog this week. I'll try to unpack what I believe the Bible has to say about it. Stay tuned, it should be a fun week!

If You Can’t Say Amen – You Oughta Say Ouch

I've started reading Voddie Baucham's latest book "Family Driven Faith" and I got to tell you. I'm only one chapter in and he has flat stepped all over my toes. Which he has a habit of sometimes doing.

The book, I believe, is a call to the American family to take up its God-given responsibility for the spiritual training, life, and vitality of the family and also to take that responsibility seriously.

For those of you who have ever heard Voddie preach, you know he doesn't mince words, he's direct and to the point, and he's also one of the smartest human beings out there. Besides that, he's big enough to take you out as well, so there's definitely a respect factor there. He writes this in his book on page 29:

"There are many worthwhile pursuits in this world, but few of them rise to the level of training our children to follow the Lord and keep His commandments. I desperately want my sons and daughters to walk with God, and I am willing to do whatever it takes, whatever the Bible says I must do in order to be used by God as a means to do that end. My prayer for you is that God would awaken in you that same passion"

Next week, my blog posts will be dedicated to some of the strong statements Voddie makes in the first chapter. They are provocative. They are strong. But in the end, I think they are right. If you haven't seen this book or heard about it, you need to read it. Next week should be interesting. We'll have some interesting material to cover.